Most of the year, I eat pretty well. I like to cook, I like to try new recipes, and I have to use up the contents of a large box of organic vegetables that gets delivered to my door every two weeks.
Then December hits. Parties, snacks at work, snacks at home, snacks on sale at the store, more parties, people delivering Christmas treats, lots of activities, no time to cook, more parties…you all know how it is. I usually start out December saying that I’m not going to eat piles of crap THIS year, because I did it LAST year and I know how it feels. But by the end of the month, not only have I given in and eaten everything set in front of me, I’m also eating things set in front of other people. I even eat things that I find disgusting under ordinary circumstances (like those Lil’ Smokies in barbecue sauce…normally I won’t even get NEAR them) because my taste buds are so de-sensitized that I can’t even tell that I’m not enjoying the taste of whatever substance I’m cramming in my mouth. Food, food, more food, the crappier the better!
By the end of December I’ve typically gained ten pounds and I feel terrible. All those evil substances that I normally consume in moderation without grief have built up in my system. I’m fatigued and irritable, I have a near-constant MSG headache, and I’ve got that general malaise that people get when they aren’t getting enough vitamins or amino acids or whatever.
So you’d think it would be easy to go back to my regular eating habits in January, right? But it’s not! Somehow I’ve started to crave the very foods that make me feel like I’ve been steamrolled! It’s just not fair. Yesterday I was on my way home to an already-prepared dinner of Spaghetti Squash Lasagna (you may scoff but it’s one of my favorite recipes), when I caught sight of a Taco Bell sign and immediately started salivating. Seriously, Taco Bell. That’s how bad it’s gotten. (I’m not trying to offend anyone who actually likes Taco Bell. But if you’ve ever met me, you know how much I loathe fast food.) Meanwhile, my stomach is saying, “Please, please, don’t stuff any more garbage into me! I can’t take it! I quit!” It’s like my mouth and my stomach just aren’t communicating anymore.
So as of today, I’m starting a two-week moratorium on any foods from a restaurant, vending machine, or the deli section of the supermarkets. It’s like my version of what some of my hippie friends call a “cleanse.” (Some of my mainstream-challenged friends are doing something called a “Lemon Cleanse” this week. Believe me, my plan is way less gross.) My New Year’s Resolution is to NOT eat so badly next December!
6 comments:
Good luck on neat eating so badly next December. Not easy with all that candy and goodies poeple make around that time. I hear you on the eating too much junk food around this time and trying to eat better foods.
Oh, way to set a resolution that (by definition) won't even be tested till the end of the year! Although I'm really glad you just said December, so Memorial Day and Thanksgiving can continue to be celebrations of gluttony.... ;)
I think most of us are like that. I am for sure. there is such a huge difference between fast food and a home cooked meal, your body just works a lot better after Real home-cooked food! Dang that convenience food. It gets me too much. So I totally know what you mean.
Maybe that is why I am feeling blue, I just am on a down from all that junk food and since, like you, I don't each junk very oftne, my body is going crazy and making me feel like some troll junkie has been created in me and is now being malnurished and taking it out on me.
Good luck on the "cleansing" process, may the force be with you!
You are hilarious! Samuel is just the opposite of you. He would rather eat junk ALL year and then maybe take a break in December.
Hmmm, better stay away from cheetos, m&m's and root beer, they're probably what started it all. I seem to remember that they were your staples on band trips in HS. :) Good luck! I need to follow your example and only put healthy food in my mouth this month!
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